Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My Last Will and Testament

So, I know that this is a gory subject to be on about - but the Journal Jar has spoken, so I am going to post it right here for all to see. My Last Will and Testament.Actually, this topic is quite a long one to post about. I took a death and dying class when I was up at the "U". Great class... helps to address the serious issue of death. After all, we are all going to die at some point in time. Are you prepared for it? I know that I am. And I have prepared myself in a way that some might find a little bit unappealing. I have already written down my last will and testament (to be altered as needed) AND, I have already written down my wishes for what I want my funeral to be like. These are important things to know so there are no arguments when the time comes for your family to deal with this rough situation.

I will make sure that everyone knows that my Will has been printed and is in my lock box on my dresser. Also, a copy of it is on the computer, and I am certain that my husband will carry out my wishes to the best of his ability. I have a DNR in place and I am an organ donor - I do not want family members to ever dispute over what should happen to my remains. If I die horrifically, cremate me. You can't have an open casket anyway... Spread my ashes in a garden and I will be just fine with that. If you can have an open casket, maybe I die of natural causes, then by all means - do so. But I do not need the most expensive casket they have available.

If I should die from some sickness or disease, I recommend cremation - after all, I could come back as a Zombie. Should this happen, I really encourage you to prepare yourselves.You will know that I have turned into a zombie if you have buried me and I suddenly appear from out of my grave, dissheveled, dirty, and bent over kind of funny... if I make grunting noizes, if I haven't brushed my hair, and if my clothes have dirt on them - AND IF YOU SAW ME DEAD - you can pretty much guess that I have turned into a zombie.... Now, I have also decided to post things on how to identify me as a zombie, and how to protect yourself. My disclaimer is that should I come back as a zombie, I don't really want to hurt you - but I probably will...
Now that you have been thorougly prepared - please carry out my wishes so I don't come back and try to eat you. Many thanks.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Journal Jar STRIKES Again!

Recall an outstanding family trip or Summer vacation you experienced as a child:
((Can we do a fade back since it was so long ago?))

Actually, my parents were divorced as a young child. BUT, there were two separate trips that I found to be most memorable. The first one was a camping trip that my mother took us on. We went to Arkansas for a week. Little Rock was so impressive - I remember walking through a haunted bath house. Pretty neat. But, that's not the most memorable part of it. Oooh no - it was the lake and the nintendo incident.
The Nintendo incident occurred on this trip, where my mother asked my brother to pack up his things before we went. She didn't check things out and when we got to the campsite, it turns out that Cameron had packed his nintendo, and nothing to wear. Maaaaaan, shoot my mama was madder than a disturbed hornets nest. It was terribly funny but at the same time, not funny at all... Depending on which way you looked at it.
Ooooh, but that wasn't going to stop us from having fun. My mom is awesome. She rented a "party barge" and a wave runner, and we spent time out on one of the clearest, cleanest lakes that I had ever been in. At one point I dropped my sunglasses in the water and they sank to the bottom, but we were able to still swim to the bottom and see them well enough to find them. Best lake... really. I loved that place.
Now, there is a slight side story in dealing with this party barge and that darn waverunner. Cameron somehow managed to figure out how to do donuts on that thing. When you do one Juuuuuuust right, it makes a huge wave and gets everything soaked. So, here's the scene - all the girls were up on the party barge and my mom was serving everyone lunch. Cameron was out on the water on the wave runner... not too far from the boat - but far enough away that no one would get wet.

(Disclaimer - those in the above picture are not members of my family... now, we will proceed). Lo' in the distance, a speck of a waverunner - coming up on us.... It was Cameron... and he was comin' on fast... My mother was sitting in her chair watching him and saying that he better not come up on the boat that fast... then cameron turned the wheel and a Spray of water went everywhere - my mothers sandwich was drenched and in the water... I remember that bread floating along - it was so funny... One of the most memorable vacation moments...

Then there was the story of Six Flags, the Family, My Dad, and a flip flop. My dad took all of us kids to Atlanta Georgia and while we were there we went to Six flags. (My favorite ride at that park was the ninja). So, my dad wore his flip flops ... I guess so his feet wouldn't be hot or something... who knows. I mean, I know how it feels when you go on water rides and you are wearing sneakers - sucks... all the squooshing and slooshing all day... Anyway, whatever the reason - he wore his flip flops.

Along come Ashley - who continues to walk behind dad, and during the day she steps on his flip flop heel. He told her to knock it off - oooh but she just couldn't help herself. It had to be the flippity sound or the floppity sound - one will never know... but she stepped on his flip flop and it broke. Dad was flip flop less...

oooh but it didn't end there... then he spent what seemed like an eternity looking for another pair of flip flops. I don't remember what happened - or if he bought some from the gift shop or what... but I will never forget the snap of that shoe... oooh man... too good.