Friday, June 14, 2013

Over the River and Through the Woods - to Circe's house we go....

I've thought a lot about this post; how I was going to start it, how I am going to finish it, things that I would like to write about in it... (Without sounding too B*t*chy) The purpose of this trip was to come to Indiana to watch the eldest graduate from high school.  This is a huge stepping stone - one that we are glad that we are not going to miss.  But, as I have planned out trip, planned to get together, texted, emailed, etc., I have found a mix of emotions about the events that got us here.  And then - then I started to struggle with how I was going to handle typing my feelings and thoughts about this event.

After all - There are multiple things happening here.
1) The Eldest is graduating from high school (Which is awesome)
2) The Ex Wives are both in one location (Which makes no sense to me)
3) The Eldest has not seen her father in 3 years (maybe 4, but who is counting)
4) The Blauthor of this Blob is feeling a great deal of anger towards the Ex's and the Eldest (regardless of being happy for the eldest, due to some past trickery on their parts - unbeknownst to the eldest and squiggly.)

I think to myself about my own Ex - how things could have turned out just like the situation I am about to find myself in this week.  If I had been (Or he had been) less than reasonable - less than adult - then we very well could have turned our children into little jerks as we fought over them, their time, their upbringing.  All to culminate in one day where we have to get together for their graduation and be awkward around each other.

In this circumstance I find myself... and oddly - it's not even about me.  It's about the Misses and how he was taken advantage of in a very vulnerable time in his life by a very manipulative ex who basically stole  his eldest away, 1600 miles across country, thus degrading his personal relationship with her.  In the meantime, the eldest found that her relationship with the Misses was highly strained - but she was convinced that it was due to the lack of communication on his part.  Never being told, or realizing on her own, that a lot of the reason that he did not reach out the way that she expected was due to her mother making it difficult on him to communicate.

Regardless of it not being about me though, I feel compelled to be angered by the lack of respect that either of the ex's have for parenting in general.  Why in the heck would you want to eliminate a relationship of your own child with their other parent?  Selfishness.  There is no other reason save control, manipulation,deviousness.... which all lead back to selfishness.  The second ex wife , squiggly's mom, she has no reason to even be involved here - she has no reason to even stay in touch the way that she has and to become friends with the first ex wife... other than manipulation - just another way to get back at the Misses.  To bring out the eldest, to your home, and then do family pictures with her - Ex number 2?  You are not her mom, or her step mother even.  Your live in boyfriend is not her father, or step-father even.  The only tie in your unit to the eldest is your child who is only a half child to the eldest.  so, to stand in the way of her father gaining a relationship, by bringing her to Utah- taking her all over the place, but never letting her see her Dad, well - that's the most horrible thing that I think I have ever witnessed other than the first Ex wife stealing away with the eldest to a state 1600 Miles away in the first place.

I have other issues with Ex number 2 - after all- if you could read some of the idiocy that this woman spews forth from her mouth you would wonder how it is that she ever made it in the civilized world. Seriously - lets let an 11 year old make decisions because she has so many problems and issues and we want her to be comfy in the world... BARF - Anyway - it will be an interesting trip, that's for certain.